There’s no way to explain what it feels like to sit in a hospital room, waiting for the birth of your babies… Yes, we’re having twins. As my incredible wife tries to rest, I watch the baby heartbeats and her blood pressure numbers… Which at first were way too high and then too low and now looking good. I guess that’s how my emotions feel. I’m on a roller coaster and have been for 3 weeks now, since Jenny, my incredibly beautiful and talented wife who is going to make the most incredible mom, was checked into the hospital because one of the twin’s water broke. I usually try to stay calm all the time. I feel like, worrying over things you can’t control is like getting punched in the face by your own fist. Well, sometimes my fist finds its way to my face. I know things will be ok. I can truly feel it. Still my fist finds my face. When that happens, the center of my forehand feels like it’s getting hit with a baseball over and over, hence the fist to the face. But like I said, I usually try to stay calm, especially as I get older. I try to do this by first bringing myself back to the present moment, not thinking about what happened or what’s to happen. Just this moment, right now with a deep breath. Then I say to myself, no one is dying. This gives me perspective and helps make a better decision. It doesn’t always work, as the past 3 weeks have reminded me. But it does help. For those of you who know how hard it was for us to get to this point, you’ll understand what and why I’m feeling the way I am. For those that don’t, I’ll probably talk about it in another post but you can read a little bit about it in the Arkansas Times article that my good friend David Koon wrote. http://www.arktimes.com/arkansas/baby-boom/Content?oid=3207782
And so, as I sit in the hospital, waiting for my babies to be born, my fist repeatedly finding my face, I’m writing this to remind myself to take a breath. To remind myself that I want to teach my boys to always take a breath. I know I’ll never be stress free but if I remind myself to take a breath I may be able to dodge the fist on every other punch.