That’s what it feels like. To have your newborn babies here, but not actually home. My friend and coworker Joyce Smith said, “it’s like getting to open all your Christmas presents but not be able to play with them.” So true.
It also feels like limbo because we don’t have an end date. The doctors can’t tell us when the boys will be home because there are so many variables. So it feels like forever… and a day.
But they are doing great. Learning to feed is the last step. Once they can feed naturally 8 times in 24 hours they’ll be able to come home. Jenny, my lovely wife, and I commented on how empty our house feels, even though they haven’t been there yet. It feels like they should be.
So, in the meantime, we make the best of it.
We sing, we read, we dance. We try to be normal.
I look into their faces and blur the edgesf to create a new background. It’s like using green screen on a tv or film set, only with my imagination and voice. Instead of seeing their faces surrounded by wires, beeping machines, and fluorescent lighting, I imagine the beach and tell the boys how the water will chase their little toes while they squeak with delight. I tell them all about zoo and let them hear the great sounds of an elephant. I paint the picture of a hike in the woods and tell them about the birds we’re going to see. Then I show them the sunset and we just sit and watch, feeling the warmth on our skin.
Soon this WILL be our normal. Until then, my imagination and storytelling skills are getting some much needed excercise.
Feel free to comment on ways you cope with stress or feel free to share this post with someone you think may need it.
Stress Free Dad 
Hey Gerry….Michael & I love you & Jenny so much, you know that (and Elijah & Luke). We can hardly wait to meet these wonderful boys. But since you asked…we are going through a whole different kind of stress these days and here’s how we cope…Michael says he just tries to put it out of his mind for a while. Me….I cry..alot, but then for a little while at least I feel better. I guess what I’m trying to say is either one is okay….BIG hugs!!
Thanks Linda. So sorry you guys are stressed. Sending you guys a hug right back!
The fact that you are even attempting to capture your emotions is remarkable, and so transparently sharing them with the world around you is even more amazing. It is clear the two of you have woven such a web of love around you over your long journey to parenthood, I hope it brings you both comfort knowing you have a safety net of help and hugs to just take a breath and fall into, whenever you need. Besides, your boys were born with the force…and those jedis of your are looking stronger and happier with each passing day!
LOL! Thank you Sheri! I does give us comfort to know that so many people around us are willing to help. Hope you’re doing well!